POPCORN!!!

Today's status:

Weight: 158.8

Productive Activity: Entered the world of employment

Money spent: $0 (though WILL be spending some later...)

Top Model episodes: 0 

Moments of PURE JOY: 150 and counting...

So...I'm pretty much going to avoid talking about the ridiculous weight gain. Could be worse...I blame it on stress and water (and pizza and breadsticks) and it WILL be going down. I should have been more specific the other day when I said goodbye to 158.2...I should have said goodbye AND goodbye to all higher numbers...*sigh...no hopes for a weigh-in tomorrow as I'm going to the movies tonight and there has been only TWO times in my existence here on earth that I can remember NOT getting popcorn...

1. I went with my brother and CG to see the documentary "Babies"...should have gotten popcorn though, because then there would have been something enjoyable about that hour and a half...

2. The night I got engaged. Knew we were going to dinner right after the movie and didn't want to spoil my appetite for scallops and 5 bottles of wine...

...I have had nothing but a perfect love affair with popcorn my entire life. My earliest memories of anything include fighting over who gets to hold the middle seatbelt in the gray car (??????) and eating my dad's popcorn in my footsie pajamas...

...WHICH, by the way, should really be made in adult sizes. I would put up some hard cash for a pair of footsie pj's that would fit me now...

...My dad would make his popcorn on the stove in our long and skinny kitchen in Clarion, PA. I remember him standing there at the stove with the popcorn maker...so patiently cranking and cranking the handle that stirred the kernels at the bottom of the pot...in his flannel shirt and giant GIANT glasses...I can picture it now! (as funny as those glasses were, I can't laugh too hard...anyone who wore specs back in the early 90's knows they would take up half of your face...myself included...) Now, when my dad makes me popcorn, he sits down in front of the microwave and watches it pop up higher and higher, with Ralphie sitting next to him licking his lips hoping for at least one of those glorious kernels to fall on the floor.

Ralphie is a dog. The most wonderful dog to ever exist.

More often than he'd like, J makes me popcorn with his old popcorn maker. He doesn't usually like to do it, but can't seem to resist my googly "PleasePleasePLEASEmakemepopcornprettyprettypleeeeeeease" eyes. 

My mom always told me that she knew that I would find the man I would marry when I would be willing to share my popcorn with him.

I shared it with J. 

*smile*

If I didn't like my popcorn to be in such large quantities, I would absolutely have it every day. For some reason I can't just have a small, reasonably-sized portion of popcorn. It needs to be in a bowl the size of a small tub...filled to the brim.

Portion control is absolutely my problem with the weight gain...for some reason I always think I need to have an equal portion of food as my husband, which is utterly ridiculous. I'm aware. But I get this sense of panic when our food is getting spooned into bowls, watching over it like a hawk who will absolutely pounce on the poor soul who is innocently putting rice into bowls. (Or more often, mac and cheese). I order WAY too much food at restaurants....like so much food that by the time my entree' comes I am so stuffed I'll take a bite or two then get it wrapped up. And THEN...where my true evil side comes out...I won't EAT said entree' and throw it in the trash. 

I throw away what used to be a delicious plate of food. WHY?! ............literally the only answer I can find is that I have some sort of psychological problem. I'm a freak. I'm not happy to admit it...but it's true...I'm a freak. J calls me a freak all the time...

...not in a mean way. Just in an obvious way...when I need to be told I'm being a freak and we're laughing about my freak-ness...he'll be sure to let me know. "You're a FREAK!!!" he'll say.

I've had a rocky relationship with food my whole life. The good thing about my relationship now is that I actually like to eat food. And when I say "like" I really mean "LOVE." I LOVE food...food excites me...I plan all of my meals at the beginning of the day...I love love love LOVE food.

.....................I think I'm hungry.

Side note: I am now the M-F day receptionist at a fitness studio in Lakeview!!! I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!! I got called less than an hour after my second interview. I am in LOVE with my new job, my new bosses, and the opportunity I'm being given to get back into great shape. Free exercise classes!!! I'm going to be constantly surrounded by slim, toned, gorgeous women...you can't have a chubby receptionist at a fitness studio, for crying out loud! 

I got a job...and a lifestyle change...and a sense of pride that I haven't felt in a long time. Will talk more about the new job later...for now...off to dinner and a movie with the bestie!! 

...And POPCORN!!!!!!

- Mrs. H