EVERY summer that I have spent around this time of year in Chicago scares the pucky out of me. It's going four years strong now, and I don't get why it doesn't click with me yet...
...it begins with a jet. A fighter jet...zooming WHOOSH overhead...mini heart attack. Then a couple minutes later, another jet. WHOOSH!! Bigger heart attack. Visions of September 11th fly through my head as I start thinking of who I could contact in what little time left I most definitely have left here on earth...did I tell anyone to burn my diaries? I never made a will before...who would get all my stuff? J certainly wouldn't be here either, as those jets will absolutely be destroying all of Chicago...do all my friends and family know I love them? Would my mom save my pillow person? Did I live my life well enough? The fighter jet that is so surely my ultimate demise flies overhead again....then I remember...
...I Google "air and water show Chicago" and there it is...again...just like last year...
"The Chicago Air and Water Show presented by the City of Chicago and Shell Oil Products U.S rocks the lakefront August 14-15, 2010 for the largest FREE show of its kind in the United States. The U.S. Navy Blue Angels and U.S. Army Parachute Team Golden Knights will headline the 52nd Annual Chicago Air and Water Show along the lakefront from Fullerton to Oak Street, with North Avenue Beach as the focal point. New time this year; the water and air portions have been combined for one continuous show beginning at 11 am and ending at 4 pm both days."
duh.
Sad thing is, I've never been to the show. In allllllllllllll my years of wanting to be in large crowds...party like a rock star...be at the center of everything...meet and talk with strangers...bring 250 of my "closest" friends with me to large events...I now have no desire for those things. This year I have no choice...will be out of town this weekend to visit the in-laws (in-laws! I can say in-laws!!)...but it still surprises me when I hear about events like these in the city and literally have NO DESIRE to go to them. What changed?
Growing up...getting married...finding excellent friendships and keeping the strong ones from the past...priorities have changed. And I love it! I love meeting up with friends for dinner and some wine, then bed before midnight...I love going down the hall to SE's place to talk girl talk and watch Mary Poppins...I love skyping with B for two hours talking about everything and nothing...I LOVE a night in with my hub, laughing and talking and being madly in love! The crowds will come and go...the parties and clubs and events will be there if I ever want to go back...for now, bring on the milk and cookies and 11:00 bedtime!
This first year of marriage should be interesting. I'm constantly looking to "find myself" and I feel like now that I've found true love...I'm looking to find my true "self" even more. Where will J and I be a year from now? Will we be just as happy? Will I have finally found my place on this big big earth that I've been looking for all these years?
Will our love be just as strong?
...I think it will. I can even say with confidence that I KNOW it will.
This first year of marriage should be interesting. I'm constantly looking to "find myself" and I feel like now that I've found true love...I'm looking to find my true "self" even more. Where will J and I be a year from now? Will we be just as happy? Will I have finally found my place on this big big earth that I've been looking for all these years?
Will our love be just as strong?
...I think it will. I can even say with confidence that I KNOW it will.
...on a side note...can I just say how much I love the FedEx guy?!?! What a fabulous man!! With all my job hunting I'm getting daily scam emails...people who spend their entire day looking to screw over perfect strangers...sitting in their homes being truly evil by stealing from other people...and then in walks the FedEx guy! It's 6,000 degrees outside, humid enough that you feel like you're drowning, and he comes up to me smiling saying, "Well how are YOU on this fabulous day?!"
*smile*
I love the FedEx guy. There needs to be more people like him in this world...perfectly content in their own world and spreading their happiness to the girl in the dark apartment watching Top Model. (Yes....again....I'm filled with shame.)
So here's to you, FedEx guy! Thanks for brightening up my day! And another big thank-you to the Big Man upstairs for giving me another day on this glorious earth! The fighter jets aren't here to take me away just yet...they're just here to scare me into turning off the TV! Do I want to die watching Top Model? No....I want to die knowing that I lived my life like the FedEx guy!
- Mrs. H
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