Today is the beginning of the changing process.
Today I am counting my points. (Weight Watchers...22 points today!)
Today I am taking special care of my body.
Today I got up with the rest of the world and headed to work by 8:15 am.
Today I'll be getting to bed at a good, early hour.
Today I saw my potential...and it's absolutely wonderful!
Today's status:
Weight: 158.8 (?????????????)
Productive Activity: Got to work early!! 8:00 am baby!!!
Money spent: .........we'll see after a Target trip
Top Model episodes: 0
Headaches: 200. All at the same time.
Other than my headache that is seriously making me consider hopping into a cold shower to help release the pressure my brain is under....this day has been GREAT!
I went to work today...the first time I went to work since December of '09...kinda insane, actually. It's weird how much not having a job was taking it's toll on my self esteem...and I didn't even realize it for the longest time. Getting up, showering, eating a (small) breakfast, and walking to J's car this morning was the BEST feeling...I felt like I actually may serve a purpose in this world!
And honestly...I shouldn't have the question marks next to the weight...my eating yesterday was BEYOND ridiculous and sad and pathetic...and again...am only admitting this to the blog world and beyond because I need to be accountable. And...since I'm beginning the changing process...it's good to know how easy it is to truly, and utterly FAIL.
- 4 oatmeal creme pies
- Cool Ranch Doritos
- Dr. Pepper
- Side Caesar salad
- Garlic bread
- Linguini with garlic and broccoli
- Half a pint of cookie dough Ben & Jerry's
- Half a bag of Skittles crazy cores
............at least I still took my vitamins................and those oatmeal creme pies were the generic brand so only had six grams of fat instead of the usual seven..................okay, I know I'm just kidding myself.
FAIL.
....yeah....I took the word "fail" to a whole new level yesterday. And I'm wondering why I have a headache today and feel just basically blaaahhhhh....?????
The upside to things is that I AM beginning the changing process. I was talking to SR yesterday, and we are going to ROCK this whole work out/eat better thing like it's nobody's business. She signed up for classes at my work! We both want to feel better about ourselves...eat better...work out...basically treat our bodies like the temples they are. And why shouldn't we? It'll be nice to have a friend along in the process so we can keep each other motivated....though I REALLY can't find something more motivating than working where I work.
It's not a gym...it's a fitness/exercise studio. The highest the free weights go is 6 lbs...all you need if your own body and a ballet bar. It's unreal...the women that come to these classes have the most amazing bodies I've ever seen...I've never seen anything like it! It's obviously successful...I wouldn't think they would need to do any kind of advertising except just have people walk by the place before and after classes start...all you have to see is 15-25 AMAZING-looking women and bam! All of Chicago will sign up! I almost don't want to tell people about it, so that there will be room in the classes for me!
I get great coworkers, amazing bosses, and I can wear workout clothes to work! So instead of shopping for uncomfortable blouses, fancy pants, and tight painful fancy shoes, I wear leggings, tank tops, sweatshirts, and SOCKS. Not even shoes....just SOCKS. SOCKS!!!
..........SOCKS!!!!!!!!!
I'm just blown away by the opportunity I've been given. There is NO WAY I can fail this time...sure, I may work out only 4 times some weeks instead of 5...but I can't work there and keep the body I have. It just won't work...it won't happen...it won't be acceptable.
I know...I know...I'm acting like I'm going to lose 20 pounds in one week and just be this fabulous fabulous woman...
...well I AM!!! Just not in one week.
*smile*
I started Weight Watchers before the wedding...and was doing well with it for awhile! But I feel like I was doing it more for the wedding than for myself. I'm at 22 points so far today...this is the first day I've counted points in weeks. If I keep track of my points...do the bar method...and maintain a positive attitude...by Christmas I'll have a ROCKIN' BOD and just be fabulous.
FABULOUS!!!!
So I'm chatting with my dear SR last night...I'm organizing all my paperwork and notes in a slick black 3-ring binder...for WORK (this is when you know I'm excited about something...when it gets it's own 3-ring binder)...and we're talking about all of these changes. And for some reason...it felt real this time. Like I wasn't just pumping myself up...I really and truly felt like this is exactly when I'm going to begin my changing process.
I talked a bit ago about praying about this job...and this is also the first time I felt like I had true prayer...and a true answer to prayer. Not just because I got my way...I didn't pray this time to just get my way... I prayed to God asking for Him to give me the answer. Not necessarily this job...but the right job. I prayed that if I wouldn't get it, that I knew there would be another one out there for me...that everything happens for a reason. But I also prayed about my life choices...about how I really feel like going into dietetics is really the right path for me...and this job would REALLY help push me along that path...and if this was really the path I should be taking...then this job would open up for me. I feel like I prayed right this time...and that I got some real answers. And I feel amazing!
Just heard from SR about her first workout...she says it hurts to drive home, it's that intense...I'm excited and scared out of my mind for tomorrow...ahhh!!
*smile*
When I told SR about my changing process...she thought it was cute. "The changing process. Love it!" She said, "It's like you're gonna be a butterfly!"
HOW cute is that?!
I AM gonna be a butterfly! A thin and toned butterfly...working in the current job of my dreams...moving to the best neighborhood in the city...married to the man of my dreams...it feels like it's too good to be true...
...for now...it's my life! I'll take it!!
- Mrs. H
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