It's a God thing.

Today's status:

Weight: 158.2

Productive activity: Cleaning and job hunting

Money spent: $0 (though ample opportunity to spend more this evening...we'll see!)

Top Model episodes: 7 (I need an intervention)

Feelings of success and renewed sense of self-worth: 1

So I gained .3 pounds since yesterday??? Was kind of a shocker to me until I realized that those oatmeal creme pies I've been eating have SEVEN GRAMS OF FAT in each one, basically no fiber, and pretty much tops the list of pointless things to put in one's body. I should never allow crap like that to exist in our home...so I'm really glad I finished the box today. Yeah...the box that was brought into our home on SUNDAY.

Fail.

The only reason I'm even letting the world know how utterly void I am of any self-control is because admitting it at least makes me accountable. If I start hiding what I'm eating then I really will need to worry...it's sad...I'm not proud...more embarrassed really...but if I don't start being realistic about what I'm doing to my body then I'll never make any changes.

So...I'm saying "hello" and "PEACE OUT" to my 158.2 .... will NOT be seeing you tomorrow or ever ever again. Ever. Ever again. Never...

...moving on to better things...I GOT A SECOND INTERVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even begin to describe how ecstatic I am for this closer step to a job! A M-F receptionist job...at a fitness studio...basically the job I was literally dreaming of when I started job hunting. I'm trying not to get TOO excited about it...I think my nerves really helped me yesterday. I wasn't feeling completely confident about how the interview went...was obsessively going over the details of the interview in my head over and over and over...thinking about everything I said wrong...now realizing maybe all of that was a good thing. As long as I can keep my nerves under control...steering clear from the paralyzing, panic-y, feeling-like-I'm-going-to-die nerves...it'll push me to stay on my toes and focus.

The craziest thing about it today, is I was chatting with my momma and she suggested I call the place and thank them for the interview yesterday. I gave it some thought...spent a lot of time getting the courage...I picked up my phone and started dialing. After typing in the 6th number my phone bleeped and I got an email....which was Lis asking me to come in for the second/final interview! Weird! Awesome!

...and as my dad would say, "It's a God thing."

I prayed yesterday. It's the first time I REALLY prayed since the wedding. I also asked for prayers from others and I know I had a ton coming my way during those fifteen minutes yesterday...but I figured a prayer of my own could only help things. When I walked in early yesterday, my interviewer came out and said she'd be with me in a minute, I literally responded something like "Oh, no problem sorry I'm early I just like to arrive early I don't mind waiting no worries I'm just really punctual noworriestakeyourtimeI'lljustsithereandpatientlywait blah blah blah blaaaaahhhhhh........."

....I was a blubbering MORON.

So I decided a prayer was in order. I was sweating and shaking so I literally closed my eyes while I sat there waiting and prayed for peace, guidance, self-control, and for the sweat to - at the very least - come off my face. 

Wiping off a sweaty upper lip during an interview is probably not the best situation to be in....

...so needless to say, the Big Man was on my side yesterday...and I'll need Him right there again on Saturday for interview #2...

...whatever happens I know will happen for a reason. I say that all the time..."everything happens for a reason." My own version of "It's a God thing" I suppose. Even though I may say it at the worst time possible, (J tells me my timing is quite unfortunate when I say it to him HA!) I truly believe it. The way my life has turned out...all the heartaches and broken bones and shenanigans I've gotten myself into...everything has led to where I am right now. If ONE THING had happened differently, J and I might have never found each other. Yeah, I have some regrets...but I learned from them...and I can't imagine my life without my husband. 

There will always be bumps in the road...but those bumps are always learning opportunities...and they all happen for a reason.

So I'll do my prep work for Saturday...I'll get a new outfit...and I'll pray...and I WILL rock it out. I WILL.

I WILL get this job. I WILL GET THIS JOB!

...whatever happens will be a God thing...and I need to always remind myself of that faith.