Today's status:
Weight: 157.1
Interviews: 1
Productive activity: Unpacked from weekend trip
Money spent: $3.35 (Jamba Juice Peach Perfection mmmmmmm....and only got the 16 oz! Success!!!)
Top Model episodes: ZERO!!!
Feelings of failure and complete loss of self-worth: 136
I'm usually not that nervous for interviews...I tend to be quite outgoing and laugh and have a good time during the interview process...perhaps, though, that may be the reason I haven't gotten a job yet. Hmmm...today I was nervous...big time. Hands shaking, nauseous, racing thoughts, sweating...yeah. Hot mess. No clue why...maybe because I'm getting to the scary point where I need need need need NEED a job...maybe because I really liked this position (receptionist at a fitness studio)...maybe because if I don't get a job soon I will be a COMPLETE waste of space and become a total failure at life.
*sigh
I realize I'm being overly negative today...but it's hard not to be while job hunting. You apply to say 15 jobs, hear back from 5, three of which are scams, get interviews for two others, and get back to square one again when you don't get hired for anything.
The interview went pretty well...was just hard to read her... I'm usually good at reading people and just could NOT tell if she wanted to hire me or wanted me to get the hey outta there...I'll just say tons of prayers these next couple days...was told I'd get a call in a "couple" days "either way."
To help me feel better about life I had J make me fish sticks and mac and cheese for dinner. Was delicious...though felt like I should have topped it off with some apple juice in a sippy cup instead of the diet coke I had. Sometimes it's nice to go back to the food I enjoyed as a child...smoked salmon and asparagus just isn't really "comfort" food (as yummy as it may be now that I'm all "grown up")...maybe tomorrow I'll go to McDonald's and get a Happy Meal.
Here's the question...why is it so hard to be happy EXACTLY where you are in life? Like right now...I'd LOVE to go back to when I was around 8...living on 7th Avenue...playing badminton with my dad...bike rides with my mom picking wild flowers...making my barbies "ice skate" on the bathroom floor...going to Cook Forest and hiking and throwing stones into the creek...life was simple then. But when I was 8, I wanted to be "grown up." When I was a teenager I wanted to be anything but that...a teenager...
...though I would like to meet one person who says that their teenage years were awesome...because that person is a liar and probably needs some therapy...
...but I feel like it's difficult to be happy in our current situations. Not just me...anyone really.
- College students can't wait to graduate and be in the "real world"
- People in their 40's would give anything to go back to college - or go in the opposite direction and pray for the day they can retire...
- Once retired, people complain about being bored - Parents can't wait for their kids to grow up...
- When said kids "grow up" the parents would give anything to go back to the "early years"...
...I could keep going but I think I made my point.
Now don't get me wrong...I am beyond happy to be married. I honestly and truly believe I found the man that was put here on this earth to be my husband. He makes me SO happy...he makes me laugh which is my all time favorite thing to do...It's just hard not to be nostalgic about the "easier times."
Were there ever "easier times" though? Like if you really really think about it...when are things ever easy? Was childhood really that easy? There were bullies...and the scary art teacher...and those days where your mom put carrot sticks in your lunch instead of the oatmeal cream pie...
...one more thought:
I truly TRULY believe that the one thing that should never ever have changed from childhood is naptime. Would we be cutting people off on the highway and throwing water bottles at Justin Bieber if we all could just have a little nap every day?
Naptime = easier times for all. Maybe if there were naps then there wouldn't even BE a Justin Bieber...
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